mixed feelings!

Yeah .. we all have amazing times..amazin places..people and memories..memories we create everyday..and never forget.. Weird feelings.. passing through a place and sayin.., "i remember last time i was here when....".and stopping to remind yourself that 'that' part of your life doesn't exist anymore and you have to forget it and make fresh memories..

The most amazing ones are the 'Firsts' of everything.. Your first friend, your first enemy, your first fight,your first crush, your first date, your first kiss.,your first job, your first salary.. We all know how 'the firsts' feel..But mostly..we overlook the fact that the 'first' won't come again.. what if you are forced to forget the first?? Will you ever be able to create the magic of  first ever again..?

Yeah.. i know how you feel now.. thats what you call as mixed feelings.. the feeling when you remember something that made you happy one moment and the next moment you are sad coz you know it ain't gonna happen again..

Human relationships and emotions are so complex that it's impossible to keep them simple. Actually, probably the effort to keep it simple makes it more complex. Can we ever be happy always?? Or have just happy memories..? I don't think so..So i guess i'd be happy if i made it to memories of people.. Be it happy or sad or whatever.. The sad part would be having somebody in your memories..which remind you that you don't exist in theirs..

Yeah i know the post has no flow.. coz its mixed feelings.. and they aren't supposed to have any flow..Duh!! :D

Wanderer

Wrote this an year ago..didnt have a blog then.. so...!

 Amazing it is..
To look away..
When you really want to grab an eye.
Amazing it is..
To just smile..
On a series of ‘whys’
It’s not easy, I know
To fathom a mind,
So uncertain, so wide..
And I admit,
To have loved and lost and lied.
It’s that fleeting, indecisive moment..
That pinch of a dart,
Is what I want you to see..
Yes, I’m a wanderer at heart..
but your essence travels with me!

Insane it is..
To believe.,
When you don’t feel like..
Insane it is..
To try to ignite a fire..
With a feeble spike.
It’s not easy, I know
To express..
What you feel..
To bare your soul, to truly reveal.
It’s the end of this story..
And the next one’s start..
Is what I want you to see..
Yes, I’m a wanderer at heart..
but your essence travels with me!

Back!

Yeah I am back on blogger. It’s been like more than two years since I last blogged… about anything.. why I stopped blogging is something I don’t know coz I don’t know why I started blogging at the first place. Anyways, these two years have been great.. or atleast I think they were great.. not because they were perfect.. but because they were life changing.. I met great people.. I call them great coz they really taught me a lesson for life..

I learnt a lot.. I saw fun..i saw ecstasy. I saw what is it like to get a job.. I saw what is to screw up things. I saw success.. I saw failures.. but most importantly..i saw love..

Yeah.. it was love that  made me understand how complex things are.. the love I saw.. when a friend stood up for a friend..and the love I saw when the same betrayed. I say love.. coz love was the reason of the betrayal.. the love for a certain career and then hating your job  to the core.. the love for a person and then one day you don’t feel it anymore.. We behave a in a certain, most stupid way when we are in love. And then. There comes a time when suddenly we are out of one and into another. Well, I guess most of us have seen all of this… but one thing..that I still haven’t understood is that when do you give up?? And most importantly why should we give up.??

Yeah .. there are times when we all think of giving up on something or someone.. I guess giving up on something is pretty easy (coz you can always get back).. like I gave up blogging and came back :D..

but how do you give up on someone you have loved.  All of you must have had friends who are no longer there with you.. coz of silly fights, distance or may be just big egos.. When do you know its time to give up  the hope .. the hope that one day everything is gonna be fine.. But does that really happen? People say life moves on.. you gotta move on.. etc etc.. what if you are still stuck.. when do you know you have got your closure.. and most importantly.. how do you get a closure.??

Yeap, I have loved a lot and lost out on lots in the past two years.. without having attained the closure.. or giving up.. the hope must burn or may be it shouldn’t..